When Abortion Hurts

The title of this brief article suggests a couple of things: first, that abortion hurts; and second, that there may be times when it doesn't.

One of the things I've noticed over the past few years is how there seems to be such division in our world (what else is new?) over Post-Abortion Syndrome. The debate centers around the after-effects of abortion. The question, does abortion cause pain or doesn't it. The answer, I've found is "Yes."

For some people, the emotional wound occurs as early as the moment the abortion decision is made or as late as forty years (or more) after the fact. So for the woman (or man) that begins suffering with the effects of abortion (or lost fatherhood) right away, their pain is acute; it is real; it is life altering. But for many people, the first thing they feel is relief. They are relieved the experience is over. They believe they can pick up with their lives where they left off before the pregnancy, and they begin to act upon that assumption. This period of relief can last from a few minutes to forty years or more. Some people seem to never revisit the time of their abortion. Some successfully and completely block it from their minds and have no recollection of it at all.

So shall we shame those that experience relief? Shall we condemn those that never suffer? No! We cannot tell them they "should" experience pain or symptoms of having lived through a trauma any more than we would tell someone that is suffering that their pain is imaginary.

It is my humble opinion that we need to abandon this debate altogether. Feelings are feelings. They are neither right nor wrong. They simply are. And wherever you are in dealing (or not dealing) with your abortion, is okay. If and when the time is right to revisit that experience you will know. You may resist going back there, but, if you're willing to be honest with yourself, you will know deep down the only way to heal from this kind of emotional wound is to cauterize it; to dig out the poison and infection that has festered, cleanse the wound with a purifying wash, apply some healing balm, and have the wound properly dressed. (We have a term for that. It's called abortion recovery.)

Whatever you call it, be honest with yourself in the assessment of your abortion experience and the after-effects of it. If you or someone you know is struggling with a past abortion experience, contact us. We have lived through the life changing affects of an abortion decision. We know that for many people, it is an extremely painful event that doesn't go away with the simple passing of time, and we are here to help. You don't have to go through this alone.

[If you don't live in the Northern Colorado area, call or email us anyway. We have a network of compassionate, experienced abortion recovery facilitators all across the U.S. and in some areas around the world.]

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