'Tis the Season -- Or not! Thoughts on "the Darker Side of Christmas"

Christmas time is here again. Bells are ringing. Carols are playing. Everywhere you go there is fa-la-la and ho-ho-ho and wishes of good cheer, peace on earth and good will to men.

But what if you're not feeling the cheer of the holiday season? Perhaps Christmas brings with it a proverbial magnifying glass, enlarging and spotlighting the unceasing ache you feel inside for the child you lost to abortion. All the bells and carols in the world can't bring your baby back, and they can't fill the emptiness or turn back the clock.

Perhaps you put on a happy face, an invisible mask that hides your pain. You go through the motions, singing along with the carols, shopping for gifts, partying with friends and family. You stuff your pain -- or attempt to medicate it -- crying alone in the night when the party's over and everyone has gone home. There, alone with your agony and regret you long for sleep and dread it at the same time.

Perhaps you don't feel much of anything anymore. You may have shut down your emotions a long time ago, closing off the throb of pain pulsing through your heart, and now, you just don't feel.... Christmas for you is just a day like any other.

Or perhaps you've made peace with your abortion. It was an event you wouldn't want to relive and you're glad it's over. You may feel it was the best solution to a bad situation so you've put it in the past and moved on. For you it's something you don't give much thought. That's okay too.... Everyone responds differently to the experience. For some the emotional pain is severe and immediate. For others it takes years for the reality and pain to awaken. For others it's just a matter of fact.

Christmas is a time for joy and celebration, but it can also be the saddest, loneliest, most heartbreaking time of the year. Underneath the merriment and good cheer there is an unrelenting undercurrent of pain for anyone that has suffered loss, and few losses bring the deep, soul-searing pain that accompanies abortion. So for those of you out there feeling this kind of pain and loss this Christmas season, my first words of encouragement are these: you are not alone.

There are countless people just like you all around this country, even all around theworld today that are experiencing the same kinds of feelings you're feeling right now. Abortion hurts. And even though our society doesn't acknowledge that, we here at In Our Midst want you to know we understand. We know you're out there. We know the kind of pain you're in.

We also want you to know there is hope.

On the surface Christmas is all about giving and receiving gifts, but the greater message of Christmas that often gets lost is the message of hope. Our pastor pointed out in last week's sermon that of the four gospels in the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), the first one deals with what he termed, "the darker side of Christmas." How insightful. He spoke of the fear Mary felt at learning she was pregnant out of wedlock -- a condition that could have brought a punishment of death. He spoke of Joseph and the personal tragedy and public humiliation he experienced at marrying a woman pregnant with "another man's" child. Then there was the pursuit of baby Jesus and His parents by Herod, who would stop at nothing to exterminate the child that was prophesied to be the next king...even to the point of annihilating every child in the land under the age of two. What weeping and mourning there was that night!

No, the Christmas story isn't all joy and peace, good will toward men. It is filled with personal tragedy and deep, excruciating loss. But thankfully the story doesn't end there -- and your's doesn't have to either.

The part of the story that ushers in hope is the one where we realize that, as the Bible says, God suffers with us when we suffer. He suffered with those parents on that night these innocent children were torn from their arms and killed. And He suffered with you when your child was torn from you. God doesn't stop tragedy from happening; but He doesn't abandon us in it either. He knows the pain you're in and He wants to heal your broken heart. His heart's desire is to restore your life to you; to restore peace and joy to you.

I know, it probably sounds impossible to some of you at this point, but I assure you it is not. And the reason I can say that is that God loved us so much that later on, years after that first Christmas, He gave over His only Son Jesus to death -- the most excruciating, most humiliating death -- to pay the penalty for our bad choices and wrong actions. He did this for us; for me, for you, so that we could have a relationship with the Just and pure King of the universe.... Someone had to pay the penalty; so the Father sent the Son to do the job. And therein is our hope.... Because of Jesus, you and I can have a relationship with God; a relationship with the One that can help us through these hard times and dark nights. A relationship with the Only One that can heal our hurts and mend our broken hearts. And someday, because of our relationship with Him, we will be reunited with the children we've lost.

Tragedy did indeed occur that first Christmas, but the greater message was that hope was born on Christmas. That hope was born for you.

If you (or someone you know) are struggling with the pain of a past abortion contact us. We are here because we know...we understand...and we want to help, at Christmas or anytime.

Email us at staff(at)inourmidst.com.