The Word for the Day: Unaware

Too many of us who have been touched by abortion are unaware of the hurt we have experienced. I was unaware for nine years of how my involvement in my friend's abortion had hurt me. Many post-abortion parents are also unaware of where the painful things in their life began - the ongoing sadness, lack of motivation, lack of trust, or lack of joy.... They don't know why they crave things that are self-destructive or why they feel an overwhelming sense of regret, anger or depression when they open their eyes each morning.

Our church leaders are also unaware of abortion's effects on those in their care. How can they know when we don't recognize the problem ourselves? How can they know we are hurting if we don't tell them?

I've been working with a church, locally, to widen their scope of understanding where this hidden issue of post-abortion pain in the body of Christ is concerned. The church leaders' challenge is great: How do we help them if we don't know they're hurting?

When the problem is a general state of being unaware, the solution, then, is awareness. Sounds simple, but I'm discovering that raising awareness of post-abortion pain issues in the church is much more difficult than it appears on the surface.

The answer, I believe, lies in creating a safer environment within the church; one where there is more love for the sinner than attention to the sin. Where the painful strongholds of life are brought out into the open and where the light of God's love, forgiveness and ability to restore is shone upon them.

If we (the church) let them know we know they're suffering, if we make an effort to touch them at the point of their pain with compassion and hope, then perhaps, after trust has been built, they will begin to share their secret struggles with us. But before the church can do this, the church must be made aware that these people are in their midst. For some their pain is well-hidden behind exuberant smiles and committed service. For others their pain is overshadowed by seclusion and lack of involvement. For others still, their pain is masked by other painful circumstances such as divorce, relationship issues, depression, anger, substance abuse or the continual tumbling down of their house of cards.

It's a bit of a vicious circle: the church doesn't speak out with compassion and hope in regard to post-abortion pain because they don't know it's there and they don't know it's there because those of us who have been wounded either don't realize the pain has to do with our past abortions or because we don't have the courage to tell others of our secret sin and shame.

In spite of the difficulty of it, awareness has to start somewhere. If you or someone you know has been wounded by an abortion, look for someone on your church staff that you believe is trustworthy and share your abortion experience with them. Let them know abortion has affected your life. Not everyone who is struggling with a past-abortion is going to have the courage to tell someone - but if you do, DO IT! Let them know then refer them to us. We can help them to have a broader understanding of this issue and how to begin to reach out to the abortion-wounded in your church. Together we can raise awareness of how abortion continues to silence God's people and give them the tools to break this silence, bringing healing and renewed joy to these children of God.

For His glory,
Mary

For more information about abortion's hidden impact on the church pick up a copy of Secret Sin: When God's People Choose Abortion.