Abortion-Wounded Christians - Why They Remain Hidden in the Church

"The first night after the abortion I knew I would never be the same.... I couldn't tell anyone.... The secret pain, guilt, and shame were too much to live with everyday." - Greg

"Greg was a Christian when he drove his pregnant girlfriend to have an abortion. His relief was short-lived however, and within the first twenty-four hours following the procedure he knew his life was forever changed. But where does a Christian go for help when s/he has just ended the life of her/his unborn child? If he had been a member of your church would he have been able to share his sorrow and regret openly? What kind of comfort and guidance would he have received?
Because having had or having been involved in an abortion is a shame-based sin, the accompanying emotions are incredibly strong. Those who live with this shame fear being judged harshly, condemned critically, or rejected completely. Thus it takes an enormous amount of courage for a post-abortion person to tell someone of their secret sin, and all the more when that other person is a Christian. Even with all the recovery programs established within many evangelical churches in recent years, most churches still operate under the guise that "we are fine because we're Christians." Instead of functioning like a hospital emergency room (which would be more appropriate in many cases), many churches continue to function more like a country club. People are ashamed of the condition of their lives, so they put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay for their brief time at church. It's no wonder then why few Christians share their abortion experiences with other Christians.

IS IT ANY WONDER?

Sadly, most Christians in this situation will seek help outside the church long before they will share this kind of secret with their Christian peers - if they seek help at all. Why? Don't they know we will love them in spite of their sin? Don't they know we will embrace them and show them the grace and kindness of Christ? No. The hard truth is that when abortion is the sin issue, they don't want anyone to know what they've done, and least of all their Christian peers. And honestly, the church does not have the best reputation for embracing sinners when the offense is of this nature. Sexual sin has always been the most devastating issue for the church to deal with, and understandably so.

In the days of Christ, the religious leaders were quick to stone those caught in sexual sin. Take the woman caught in adultery in John 8 for example. They brought her to Jesus with stones in hand. In more recent centuries churches have excommunicated those in their midst that committed such heinous crimes, shaming them publicly for their indiscretion and casting them out ceremonially. And more recently still, churches have split over such matters. No, sadly the church doesn't have the best track record in dealing with such weighty issues.

What that means, however, is that we have lots of room for improvement! As we begin to see and understand the truth of abortion we can begin to change our responses to it in our communities and in our churches."

[The text above is an excerpt from Secret Sin: When God's People Choose Abortion; Chapter 4, pages 37-38]

So I ask again: If Greg, an abortion-wounded father, had come to your church for help, what kind of reception would he have received? What kind of help would your church have offered him?

We at In Our Midst Ministries are here to help churches and other pro-life ministries gain an understanding of the abortion-wounded person as well as to develop a ministry standard for these hurting people. We will bring our one-day training to you. Contact Therese at tboschman.iom(at sign)gmail.com for more information.

To order a copy of Secret Sin, go to Amazon.com.

Blessings in Christ!