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Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions:

  1. How does In Our Midst implement abortion recovery in churches?

    We begin by speaking with the pastor (or designated ministry team leader) personally, sharing with them the heart of the post-abortive person, how it can be a stronghold that affects every area of their life and how they are too ashamed or too afraid of condemnation to share their struggle with others within the church.

    We then share the statistics that reflect as many as one in three women - even within the church - is post-abortive. Add to that the post-abortive father and other family members that have been deeply affected by abortion and the numbers are staggering.

    We follow that with the assertion that because the post-abortive do not feel safe to share their pain with those in the church, we encourage them to lay the groundwork to create a safe environment within the body of believers so those suffering silently from a past abortion can muster the courage to come out of the proverbial closet. A vital element of this process is allowing a post-abortive man or woman (that has been through the healing process) to give their testimony to the congregation. It is important at this phase to help the non-post-abortive to see the post-abortive through God's eyes and for the post-abortive to see first that God loves and forgives them, and second that their church is there to lovingly accept them, not condemn or judge them.

    Basically, we establish the need and then offer our services to train the necessary personnel to first understand the post-abortive mindset and then to specifically train those individuals that would be doing the hands-on ministry.

  2. Does the pastor of the church actually have to "do" the work of this ministry himself?

    The pastor is a key figure in setting the stage and creating a safe atmosphere within the church for abortion recovery, but no, he is most likely not the person that will be in charge of ministry. It would benefit him greatly to go through the basic training to have a better understanding of the struggles facing the post-abortive, but ordinarily his job is done once the ministry is underway. (The basic training is very short.)

    What usually happens is the pastor sets the stage, shedding new light on the abortion issue as a personal one instead of a political one. Once the people begin to feel safe, one at a time, sparsely at first, they will begin to emerge seeking healing through Christ. At that point, the leadership team that has been trained in abortion recovery takes over - which means the establishment of the leadership team and their training needs to occur prior to the pastor creating the safe environment. (All these details will be given to the pastor or appropriate ministry leader at the outset of our involvement with your church.)

  3. Does "In Our Midst" oversee these new abortion recovery programs?

    Our job is to bring awareness to the leadership of the church about the post-abortive in their midst then to train the necessary people to walk through the healing process with them. The recovery program established at your church is your recovery program. We at In Our Midst will be available for ongoing questions and consultations as needed. Our desire is to bring abortion recovery into the church and then allow the body of Christ within that church to oversee it according to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

  4. Are the "No Greater Love" recovery groups a parachurch affiliation with In Our Midst Ministries?

    No, again, our job is to train the leaders of the abortion recovery groups. The fact that to date almost all abortion recovery is done through parachurch organizations is the impetus that brought us to develop In Our Midst Ministries. Abortion recovery is effective through pregnancy centers and other organizations, but the area that is most lacking and where it is most needed is within the church.

  5. Our pastoral staff is already overloaded with the ministries we offer and the needs of the people within our church. How do you propose adding a new ministry program to these pastors?

    Most (if not all) pastors are already ministering to post-abortive people within their congregations - they just don't realize it. Most post-abortive people (that have not been healed through Christ) will experience difficulties in various areas of their lives because of their abortion experience. Some of those difficulties include marital problems, divorce, depression, self-esteem issues, pornography addiction, promiscuity, drug use or addiction, thoughts of suicide, eating disorders, cutting, etc. These issues are the ones that bring people in for counseling with their pastor when often the underlying root cause is an unresolved abortion experience.

    With that said, the idea of abortion recovery may be new, but the ministry has already been taking place. In many instances it simply hasn't been completely effective because the root issue has not been uncovered or dealt with.

    What we are offering is information that will allow the pastoral and ministry staff of the church to recognize the signs and symptoms of an underlying abortion issue and then meet these wounded people where they are with the love, forgiveness, and acceptance of Christ. This learning process is a short one and is easily implemented, but the results are huge.

  6. My pastor says everybody has their "pet" ministry these days: Divorce Care, Grief Share, substance abuse and addiction, pornography addiction, and the list goes on. In light of this statement, how can I persuade him to add yet another recovery program at our church?

    In answer to this question, first of all, I would say it is not up to you to persuade your pastor of anything. Speak with him about your heart for the post-abortive, and all the more if that comes from a personal experience with abortion, and pray for him. Pray before you speak to him, that God would prepare his heart to hear what God lays on your heart to share. Pray that God would give you His words, and that you would not speak from your own desires. Pray before, during, and after you speak with him, and then allow the Holy Spirit to do the persuading. Secondly, for your own information and confidence in applying the gifts God has given you, I refer you to 1 Corinthians 12, specifically verses 4 and 5:

    Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord.

    And verses 17 and 18:

    If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired.[Emphasis mine]

    Each of us is called to use the gifts God gave us in the manner to which He has enabled us for His glory. The ministries of God are designed to be carried out by His leading for His purposes. One of our responsibilities is to look beyond the labels and see the ministry opportunities God has brought to us. It is our privilege to serve Him with our lives considering all He has done for us.

    If God has given you a heart for the post-abortive and if you sense He is calling you to begin working on their behalf for His glory, know that He will take your willingness and bless it beyond all you could ask or imagine. He has placed those desires there for a reason, and it is His desire to use your life as a banner of hope, healing, and restoration to others like you. Bathe everything in prayer then step out in the knowledge that "Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

  7. What exactly do you offer churches that invite you to come in to do seminars?

    We offer attendees a Basic Track of information that gives them an inside, in-depth view of abortion - who it affects, how it affects them, and why they choose it. Included in the Basic Track is a statistical cross-section of those affected by abortion and why it is pertinent to the Church. Also included is an explanation of Post-Abortion Stress, what it is, what the symptoms are, and how we (the Church) are to respond. We examine the ways the Church has been involved in abortion since its legalization, and which of these things have been effective, which have been detrimental, and what can (and should) be done differently by the Church.

    One of the first things addressed in the Basic Track is the challenge of an honest self-examination for the listener. Those in attendance are encouraged to examine their own beliefs, attitudes, and emotions related to abortion or those who have chosen abortion. A series of common myths about abortion is examined and each myth is refuted with truth. The stages of prenatal development as well as a (non-graphic) overview of abortion procedures are covered in order to give a more complete picture of the issues at hand.

    Also explored is some basic information regarding ministering Christ to the abortion-affected. Included in this basic training is the importance of:

    • Building trust - both one-on-one and within the church body
    • Meeting them where they are with compassion
    • Helping them understand the character of God and their identity in Christ (if a Christian)
    • Sharing the gospel of Christ with them if they have not yet trusted Him for their salvation
    • Helping them to understand freedom in Christ:
      • What it means
      • How to obtain it
    • Having an understanding of the common areas of struggle for the post-abortive:
      • Forgiveness (from the p/a viewpoint)
      • God's forgiveness
      • Forgiveness of self
      • Forgiveness of others
      • Self-image
      • Dealing with the memories and destructive thought processes (strongholds)
    • Helping them to understand and overcome strongholds
    • Equipping them to transform the memories from horrifying to hopeful
    • The importance of where the baby is "now"
    • The importance of naming/memorializing the baby
    • Initial reactions to abortion (relief; regret; denial; etc.)
    • Warning signs of suicide
    • The importance of sharing the secret: why, how, and when to do so

    Our goal in the Basic Track is to pull back the curtain on the topic of abortion and those it affects, revealing wrong beliefs, misinformation, and deceptions to which those in the audience may have fallen prey, while shining the light of incontrovertible truth.

    A second goal is to allow them to see the wounded heart of the abortion-affected person and to fuel their passion to be Christ's hands and feet and heart toward them, becoming vessels of His healing in the lives of these broken and wounded people suffering silently in their midst.

    The final emphasis is on continuing their education, which is where we strongly encourage them to pursue advanced training through any of several reputable ministries devoted to training abortion recovery facilitators. [A list of these ministries will be provided upon request.]

  8. Is all of your material your own?

    To date all information with the exception of statistics and studies is our own.

  9. Do you give them enough training in one weekend to equip them to set up ministries?

    The Basic Track can be done in either a one or two day seminar. It provides basic training on the issues related to the post-abortive person. Most often the leaders that attend the Basic Track will not be the ones actually doing the hands-on ministry in the end. (However, it's fine if they are!) The advanced track is done through other ministries and is specialized for the people that will actually be doing the hands-on ministry. Its goal is to teach them more specifically how to develop an abortion recovery ministry, how to publicize it within the church, as well as how to walk with the abortion-affected through the healing process via the No Greater Love bible study support groups.

    In short, the basic track is for pastors and others interested in abortion recovery, to give them a clearer understanding of the issue of abortion as it relates to those in their midst and to help them create such an environment within their church that these people feel safe enough to come forward to receive the healing they so desperately need.

  10. How do you follow up with them after they have attended the trainings?

    We keep in regular contact with those that attend our trainings or other events. This contact is done in the form of an e-newsletter that will keep them informed of new ideas to help improve their abortion recovery programs, offer them new resources (re: continuing education, etc.), and encouragement to keep running the race.

    We are also planning to implement a message board on the web site to allow them to sharpen one another "as iron sharpens iron" as well as to have continual contact with us. This message board will be instrumental in problem-solving, motivation, education, building community, etc.

  11. What type of resources do you have to offer them?

    We have a new book called, Secret Sin: When God's People Choose Abortion (available at Amazon.com). Secret Sin is an excellent resource to give your pastor or church leaders to share with them the vital information of how many Christians are suffering silently in the pews because of past abortions and what the Church can do to meet them at the point of their need as the hands and feet of Christ. All the other materials we have produced are available by request online at the web site: http://www.inourmidst.com. We are continually adding more resources to the site and will be publishing new resources and materials in the coming months.

  12. What about the CPC's? Should we work with them?

    Yes, pregnancy centers are an integral part of the networking and support process. Those centers with experienced abortion recovery facilitators will be the local support structure for churches that are beginning abortion recovery groups.

  13. What about using Care Net training resources?

    Care Net's Leaders' Guide for Forgiven & Set Free is currently our recommendation for training new facilitators.

  14. What are you doing to combat the difficulty of starting abortion recovery within the Church (i.e.: low participation due to the fear of being seen, etc.)?

    First, we begin by helping the pastors and church leaders to see the truth of abortion, and then we explain the importance of creating a safe environment within their church:

    • By illuminating the truth (to the non-post-abortive) that we all share a common sin factor; that we have the right to neither judge nor condemn anyone else - even those that have chosen abortion. Our job is to love them like Jesus; to be His hands and feet and heart toward them, restoring them gently according to His example and His Word. [Galatians 6:1]
    • By communicating God's heart toward the post-abortive - letting them know how precious they are to Him; that He loves them just the same as He always did; and that He wants them to be healed and freed from the pain, guilt, and shame of their abortion - so much so that He paid the price of their sin with blood of His own Son. [I John 3:19-20]
    • By applying the truths of John 8:1-11, showing Jesus' heart toward those caught in sin. Jesus shamed the woman's accusers, sparing her life before He ever said a word to her; then when He did speak to her, He spoke words of acceptance, words of compassion, healing words that lifted her up. Only after everything else did He mention her sin, and only with the encouragement to leave her life of sin behind.
    • By inviting a healed post-abortive woman/man to give their testimony before the church.

    The support of the pastor and church leadership is crucial to creating a safe environment within the church.

    Next, it is our recommendation that at least the first few recovery groups should meet off church campus at an undisclosed location. These groups should be led by leaders or members of the church to solidify the church affiliation, but for the sake of confidentiality, until such time as the post-abortion ministry is passionately embraced by and well-established in the church, the group meeting place should be off-site. A counseling office, business office (that is vacant in the evenings), or other private location that is suited to small groups is preferred. (Meeting in homes is not recommended.)

Terminology:

What does the term "post-abortive" mean?
Post-abortive refers to someone who has had or been affected by an abortion.
What does the term "pre-abortive" mean?
Pre-abortive refers to someone who may be considering an abortion, or who may have had life experiences that could set her up for an abortion should she encounter an unexpected or ill-timed pregnancy.
What does the term "codependent" mean?
Codependency involves a habitual system of unhealthy or unbalanced thinking, feeling, and behaving toward oneself and others. Codependency often results in enabling destructive behaviors in others (e.g. behaviors consistent with addictions) that likewise cause the codependent much pain as well. Codependent behaviors or habits are self-destructive. Some examples of codependent behavior are as follows: obsessing, controlling, obsessive "helping" (or enabling), unhealthy caretaking, low self-worth (sometimes bordering on self-hatred), self-repression, abundance of anger and guilt, a sometimes peculiar dependency on destructive people, attraction to and tolerance for unhealthy relationships and situations (e.g. verbal or physical abuse), other-centeredness that results in abandonment of self, communication problems, intimacy problems, etc. (For more information see Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie.)
Don't you think you're being too hard on the church?
When Christ walked the earth He referred to the church as His body. That is an incredibly high calling! Whatever we do, we are to do it as unto Him knowing that we represent Him in this world. As someone once said, "We may be the only Jesus people ever see." If it seems as though I'm being tough on the church, perhaps I am. We should be hard on ourselves when it comes to how we represent Him and how we fulfill His calling on our lives.
Our intent at In Our Midst is not to point fingers at others, but to shed light on some ministry areas that we (the church) need to re-evaluate. Honestly, we (the church) have done the best we could with the information we have had, but in this age of information, we have new information to assess - and we are accountable to do that. We could not respond 20 years ago to information we did not have (e.g. the emotional affects of abortion on the mother and others involved in the decision to abort). The same cannot be said today. The question now is, Now that we know, what will we do? And that is one goal of this ministry.
As leaders in the church, we have to be willing to examine our methods, our motives, our goals, and ourselves regularly. We have to be willing to look at those tougher issues asking ourselves if we are following Christ's model or if perhaps we have deviated from His examples and commands. We must hold each other accountable to the highest standards possible.

Mary Comm; Revised 03/05/07