No one wants an abortion as she wants an ice-cream cone
or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal, caught in a trap, wants
to gnaw off its own leg."
--
Frederica Mathewes-Green
Before we attempt to minister to those who have been hurt by abortion, it is imperative that we first try to understand them, what led them to consider abortion, what led them to choose abortion. For those of you who have never had an abortion, that statement may trigger some intense emotions. To say we feel strongly about the topic of abortion is to say the Grand Canyon is deep. But regardless of how we feel about what they've done (the sins they've committed) we must be able to meet them where they are with the love of Christ - just as He met the woman at the well - willing to get our spiritual hands dirty; willing to risk our reputation; willing to love them and to offer them acceptance and hope and truth - the kind that leads to restoration and life.
As people who value the life of the unborn, many of us may have a picture in our minds of careless, callous women proudly stomping into a clinic demanding their right to end the life of their unborn child. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, the vast majority of women who have abortions in this country do so because they feel they have no alternative.
There are many factors that persuade a woman to choose abortion?. And some of those factors may sound completely selfish to you and me, however we have to remember that not only do we live in a me-oriented society; but it is also a society that has saturated the minds of our young people with the pro-abortion rhetoric and deception. These people, many of which are merely "kids" have heard all their lives that abortion is a woman's right to choose; it's her body and nobody should be able to tell her what to do with it. They've heard the word abortion used so casually without any true explanation of what it is or what the results are - both for the child and for the mother (et al) that they don't even realize - or don't believe - that it ends the life of a child. Abortion has been touted as a "woman's right to choose" by the pro-abortion camp for more than 30 years now, and through every viable medium.
Though the option of adoption is always readily available, many of those who choose abortion never even think about it as a viable option, or if they do, it carries with it too much shame, too much personal sacrifice, or ironically enough, the threat of too much emotional pain. Many of them think it would be far too painful to give their baby away... (A hard reality, with lifelong effects of its own.) And why should she put herself through all that when abortion has been sold to her as a casual, easy, simple procedure, and about which no one will ever have to know... Sadly the young people of our society have been lied to over the past 30+ years by those who would profit from their tragedy, and those of us with the truth have not sufficiently countered those lies.
At this point it would be easy to get into all the moral and political rhetoric here, but the truth of the matter is that the minds of our young men and women have been saturated with the notion over the past three decades that abortion is as safe as a trip to the dentist-much safer than carrying a baby to term-and that it is nothing more than a simple medical procedure that solves a tragic problem.
The young people of our society don't just have the pro-abortion mainstream media and Planned Parenthood's slick and savvy sex-without-consequences campaign persuading them to abort. The other influences in their lives speak just as loudly, some even louder: Like the voice of the boyfriend who threatens to break up with her if she chooses to have the baby; or the parents who have assured her they would kick her out of the house if she ever came home pregnant; or the girl who is raped by the star quarterback on the football team while on a date or by an anonymous attacker. Continuing with the pregnancy would multiply her shame, and how could she love a baby so brutally conceived? Then there's the career-minded woman...maybe she's just finishing college and a baby would totally disrupt all her plans; or the businesswoman who is vying for that big promotion. Having a baby now would ruin all her hard work and put an end to all her dreams. There is also the young Christian woman who in a moment of passion makes a bad decision. How can she face her Christian peers at church? How can she bring such shame upon her family? Perhaps her parents are leaders in the church. Perhaps her father is the pastor or her mother is on the women's ministry team...
But it doesn't just happen to the unmarried. Married couples abort too, regularly. Perhaps the husband has a violent temper and sometimes beats his wife... How could she bring a child into such a horrible situation? What about the couple who is struggling financially? They are barely making it, but another mouth to feed would put them over the edge. There are also those women who become pregnant through adultery. One woman I counseled a few years ago was the wife of a Marine who had been out to sea for some time. She had an affair and became pregnant. Another woman became pregnant through adultery... Her husband had had a vasectomy years earlier. There was no way either of these women could explain their pregnancies without "getting caught." In the final analysis, an abortion was the lesser consequence-or so they thought.
There are also those times when signs of medical abnormalities may appear. Many doctors will advise their patients to abort rather than to continue with the pregnancy. When the abnormalities seem severe enough sometimes even the clergy will support the doctor's position, reinforcing the idea that everyone will be better off if the pregnancy is terminated. With such weighty opinions, often the family and friends will concur, leaving these devastated parents confused, afraid and feeling alone.
Others may simply have an erroneous idea of who God is. For example, one woman I counseled several years ago believed that God did not want her to suffer through an unwanted pregnancy. Her view of God was totally skewed. She knew in the end God would forgive her for having an abortion, so for her the price was acceptable. In her case she would merely confess to her priest and all would be forgotten. Sadly, it is never that simple. Yes, God forgives the sin of abortion, but although He forgives, He does not remove the natural consequences.
And who has told them of the possible health risks or the lasting affects of abortion? Though some of us have tried, the financially lucrative "deep pocket" of the pro-abortion organizations (like Planned Parenthood, etc.) have been much more successful at convincing them there are no serious health risks or lasting consequences. State judicial systems that refuse to allow laws concerning mandatory parental notification only serve to add to the misconception. When I as a parent have to sign a permission slip for my child to receive an over-the-counter pain reliever at school, but do not have to be informed of my child's decision to have an abortion (a major medical procedure with serious potential health risks), the message to our young people is unmistakable. Abortion is "no big deal."
But beyond all these issues lies the very basic issue of premarital sex. Were our young people committed to abstinence there would be a far less incidence of unwanted pregnancy, which would significantly decrease the demand for abortion. (The exceptions to this would fall in the categories of rape and incest, which represent less than 1% of all abortions, and those abortions occurring within the constraints of marriage.) Abstinence is a philosophy that has been ridiculed to the point that many now believe it is an unreasonable one. The public school system has taken up the mantle of teaching our young people "sex education" (largely because many parents have shirked that responsibility), but the schools are doing so in a manner that for all intents and purposes propagates sexual activity. Instead of being taught about the realities of teenage sex (a poor reputation, a broken heart, damaged self-esteem, and the truth about STDs, pregnancy, and abortion) they are taught to have "safe sex" with the use of condoms. Add to that the fact that students are introduced to sexual stimuli at increasingly younger ages, some even being subjected to sex education topics in the elementary grade levels, and the result is younger experimentation with sex and pregnancy in younger children.
Where are the advocates for truth about abortion, what it is, what risks and consequences it carries? Where are the advocates for abstinence, the voices of reason and accountability in our schools and churches? Where are our young people finding the facts about these issues? If we are not willing to tell them, then we must be willing to accept a portion of the responsibility. We must be willing to share in the burden of their sin and shame. Perhaps the hardest truth of all is that we bear the largest burden of that responsibility.
Women choose abortion for a lot of different reasons. But most, once they've come to terms with their abortion(s), will say that if only one influential person in their most intimate inner circle had been willing to say, "You can do this. I will help you," they would've chosen life instead of abortion. If someone close to you presented you with that dilemma today, what would you say?
It is not enough that we are educated and informed. It is not even enough that we are passionately pro-life. We must be willing to step out into our circles of influence as advocates armed with pertinent facts and unequivocal truth. And we must be willing to do so with the wisdom of serpents but the gentleness of doves.
"Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves;
so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.." Matthew 10:16 NASB